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None of those words, or even the combination of all of them can come close to describing this book.
From its Amazon page, we learn:
Kora hates vampires and swears she'll never make one. Using artificial cells, she synthesizes pleasant, harmless creatures like mermaids and gnomes for wealthy clients who want mythical creatures roaming their grounds and swimming in their private lakes.
When trillionaire Ruby Lazar buys Kora's masterpiece, the Siren, Kora leaps at the opportunity to deliver her marvel in person. She rushes off to Ruby's Gothic castle on the cliffs of Point Dume only to end up imprisoned in a Victorian monkey cage. To save her own life, Kora must transform the Siren into the very creature she loathes.
To make matters worse, Ruby already has a synthetic vampire boy toy named Vaughn who's the most vicious, arrogant, gorgeous thing Kora has ever laid eyes on. She hates every strand of hair on his blood-sucking head but can't stop thinking about him.
But everything about the castle—including Vaughn—is oddly familiar to Kora. She soon learns that in order to truly escape, she must uncover secrets from her own forgotten past. Only by discovering her true identity can she prevent Ruby from destroying her life all over again.
Even that intriguing description didn't prepare me for what I found in the pages of Synthetic:The Rise of the Siren.
If you think about the story of Frankenstein's monster, mixed into the Twilight series, with a dash of Rocky Horror Picture Show and a pinch of Nancy Drew all combined into the worst/best B-movie you ever saw, you might get an inkling of what's in store for you. I thoroughly enjoyed the read. I admit to a few "huh?" moments (mostly due to formatting and editing errors) but I was intrigued enough to not let it distract me from the story. I would give this book five stars for originality and creativity (even though there was no dog in the story). If you're a sci fi or fantasy fan, this should definitely be on your "must read" list. I guess I am now officially a member of Team Vaughn.
The Goodreads.com description is a little more indepth, but might spoil some of the surprises for you. If you like to be kept guessing, don't read below this line. :)
Playing God is a lonely job. Kora created twin mermaids, a gang of gnomes and even a replica of Brigitte Bardot for her wealthy clientele, but what she really wants is her own family.
Forget pregnancy. Kora synthesizes full-grown creatures from artificial cells. Thanks to this unique talent, she’s enslaved at Mirafield Labs where she’s forced to pump out synthetic bimbos twenty-four hours a day, leaving her no time to design her own companions. But when a Mirafield bigwig named Ruby Lazar summons her for a house call, Kora leaps at the opportunity to escape her captors.
Kora is shipped off to a Gothic castle on the cliffs of Point Dume where meets Ruby, an ancient horror actress turned mad scientist, who she is shocked to learn is her long-lost mother. Ruby rules over a family of her own creations including a walrus man, a tiny troll, and her vampire boy toy, Vaughn. He wants nothing to do with Ruby, but she hopes to seduce him and resurrect her acting career by transforming herself into a gorgeous vampire.
To save her own neck, Kora must perform the impossible task of transferring Ruby’s brain into the body of a synthetic vampire. But making a monster while falling for Vaughn puts Kora in a tailspin. Is she morphing into her detestable mother? Desperate to get free, Kora searches for remnants of her past and discovers a monster genocide Ruby ordered ten years before that ripped Kora from everyone she loved. Now Kora must battle her mother before Ruby destroys her life all over again