Thursday, August 16, 2012

This Little Piggy Went To The Liquor Store

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I was totally prepared to dislike this book. I figured it was time to review something that was poorly written, poorly formatted and with subject matter that I couldn't tolerate so I bought it. How could I go wrong on a book with a vodka bottle and a baby pacifier on the cover? How indeed? Must I count the ways?

A. K. Turner may not get the fundamental conservative vote for Mother Of The Year, but she sure has mine. I wish I'd grown up with her! I personally don't drink...I can get drunk reading the label on a bottle of wine, even if I did like the taste which I don't. Also, my childhood memories of alcohol and overdrinking were not pleasant ones, so the very idea of the words "liquor store" on a book about being a mom seemed to me to be the epitome of poor taste and symbolic of the decline of the American family.


If I thought that putting a martini in the hands of every mom in America would create a home life such as Mrs. Turner describes theirs, I'd buy the bottles and the glasses!

I've read so many reviews and book descriptions that tout a book as "laugh out loud funny" that I don't take any of them seriously any more. I've become jaded to that whole "truth in advertising" thing, and firmly believe that just as Dr. House believes, "everybody lies."

Nobody lied this time. I actually had to get out of bed, where I was reading beside my snoring husband, and finish the book in the living room because I kept breaking out into giggles and even one big old horse snort which woke him up. Yes, she's that funny.

Normal family life is funny. Abnormal family life even more so. The Turner family is a nice blend of normal-dysfunctional. Not since Erma Bombeck have I been so anxious to read more about a family's trek through daily life. A huge thumb's up (and a blushing apology for my preconcieved notions) to the author who not only puts the "fun" in "dysfunctional" but makes me want to adopt her and the rest of her family.

PS: It was not only beautifully written, but I found just ONE (count 'em, one) error. That alone adds another star to an already full slate.

The Amazon description (also the book jacket) is woefully short. The book deserves more!

This Little Piggy Went to the Liquor Store chronicles what happens when a little girl who scorns the idea of marriage and children (in favor of becoming a stiletto-wearing, attache-carrying Secret Agent), majors in Russian, minors in Vodka, and then one day finds herself with child… and in-laws

Yes, there were dogs in the book. And that is the only part of the book that made me wince. Mrs. Turner was very brave to include the facts that they gave away family pets simply because they were inconvenient. I can't understand nor condone that, but it did appear that she did so in a very repsonsible and mature manner, with full admission of the wrongness of the action, and the pets in question were never endangered (kill shelter) nor placed without angst and full knowledge that the new owners would be more responsible.

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